Nine Steps to Nirvana
by Eternally Seventeen
Summary: What happens in the nine months before Harry was born, and the one month after. / The 11-drabble collection of a very pregnant Lily and proud soon-to-be dad James.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Because I absolutely adore James/Lily and always wondered how Lily went through her pregnancy during the war...here's a series of 11 drabbles to take you through her pregnancy (because 9 plus prologue plus epilogue, duh) :D Hope you enjoy!

Inspired by conversations with and thus dedicated to **Alicia Mirza** and **sharmeow,** who ship James/Lily as hard as I do, and who are some of my closest friends here :D I love you guys!

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**Prologue**

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She trembles under his gentle touch, giving herself up the gentle dance of his fingers across her back and the uneven beat of his heart above her own. Rain beats down on their windows, strumming like his fingers, thudding like their hearts and setting their words to music.

She whispers sweet nothings in his ears and he kisses her in response, trailing fairy kisses from her forehead down her nose. She closes the gap between them as she claims his lips as hers and he obliges. James never appreciated any distance between him and his wife, anyway.

"I love you," she breathed huskily as the night deepened into a delicious blanket of ultramarines and violets that looked the deepest of velvets.

"I love you, too," he promised, his cool breath tickling her nostrils.

They spoke no more that night, letting their bodies express their love for each other in ways words failed to do.

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Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #55: wife


	2. 1: Revelation

**Revelation**

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It's when she spends the entire morning throwing up the contents of _both _her breakfasts, that Lily realises that something is quite not right. Her throat burns violently and she curses, hating the thought of spending a precious day ill when her world is being ravaged by the war she's fighting desperately to win. She hears James clattering around the kitchen and swears. She was supposed to be making him breakfast!

Cleansing herself thoroughly, she shuffled down the stairs and was welcomed by the wafting flavours of sizzling bacon accompanied by two eggs that were slowly cooking on the stove. Lily did a double take.

And then threw up over the kitchen floor, heaving and gasping as her stomach rid itself of everything edible.

"Lily!" James gasped, abandoning their breakfast and rushing over to his wife who had collapsed on to the floor with exhaustion. He grabbed a bar of chocolate, opened it and urgently broke off a piece.

"Here, the sugar should help. Mind telling me what's going on with you?" His forehead was a map of wrinkles that screamed of worry and exhaustion and Lily instantly felt guilty for worrying her already worn husband.

"Let me clean up first?" She asked weakly, but James was a few steps ahead of her. "Already on it, love," he said, attempting a smile.

Within seconds, the floor was spotless and James had gotten Lily out of her soiled nightclothes. He carried her up to their bedroom and she giggled like a young schoolgirl, happy to be surrounded by the warm scent of her husband as she snuggled close to his neck.

"Lil, are you sure everything is alright?" He asked as he set her on the bed and sat next to her, concern flooding his hazel eyes.

She nodded happily despite the fatigue.

"If I'm right, as we know I usually am, she began, grinning, and James instantly knew that she was bouncing back.

"Yes, m'lady?" He teased back, pecking her nose. She swatted him away, squealing. "You really need to stop distracting me if you want to know, James!" she admonished playfully.

He threw his arms up in surrender. "Alright, alright! So…what is it?"

"It very much looks like we are about to become parents, love."

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #8: chocolate


	3. 2: House Arrest

**House Arrest**

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She's unable to leave her bed for nearly a month as the fatigue eats her up from the insides, either driving her into a mindless stupor or keeping her up, weak and immobile. She rubbed her still flat stomach and pleaded with her baby, her body and even the universe to go easy on her but Lily literally fainted if just decided to walk down the stairs, and a very frightened James had cast charms and protective wards around the house to endure that he was the only one who could leave, as well as enter the house.

"James, I beg of you, take me with you till Sirius' at least, I can't spend another day trapped at home without knowing how you are!" The prolonged periods of time she was spending in solitary confinement was driving her to the edges of her sanity. It was her nature to be active, to lead - and this pregnancy was beginning to feel more like a punishment to her.

But while James would usually melt at her smallest request, he remained adamant this time.

"It's not easy for me to constantly deny you, Lily," he said huskily that night as she sobbed that night, clinging on to his nightshirt with all her might. He squeezed his eyes shut as he didn't want her to see the tears that pooled in them and held her tight instead.

"Be honest with me, James," she whispered tearfully. "Is it really that bad out there?"

He pressed his temples tightly, knowing that any attempt at telling a lie would be a huge failure. So he chose to tell her the truth instead, kissing her damp cheeks before he did so.

"It's terrible," he said bluntly. "Voldemort isn't just gathering humans for his Death Eaters, who are already large in numbers – he's seeking support from the darkest of all creatures, from giants to house elves; we are so severely short numbered and Lil, I cannot bring our baby smack into the centre of all this, not when he isn't even born yet!" His voice trembled as his nightmares danced before his vision for a few seconds.

"Lil, I'm so sorry," he whispered as his wife failed to respond. She was numb with horror and had a palm covering her tummy protectively as she stared into nothingness.

"Lily? Sweetheart, talk to me," he pleaded, pressing urgent kisses on her forehead.

She blinked.

"James, sweetheart, it's not your fault," she soothed, hugging him back and returning his kisses with passion. "I know what we're getting into," she admitted as they broke apart for air. "And I know you're right. I'll stay home and take care of the baby, alright? That will give you one less thing to worry about."

"First, you take care of yourself, love," James admonished, clearly relieved. "I don't want you fainting all over the house, you hear me?"

* * *

Entered in the Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #13 - easy


	4. 3: Of Warm Welcomes

**Of Warm Welcomes**

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"James, you're home!" Lily thundered from the kitchen as she heard footsteps. Her husband shuffled in slowly, looking like a true warrior and the smile skid off her face as she took in his torn jacket and grimy face. The rest of him looked no better.

"Oh, sweetheart," she cried in dismay as she went over to him, kissing his cheeks gently. He smiled widely and then held her by the waist, holding her to him and revelling in her unique scent of chocolate chip cookies and butter and lilies.

He kissed the exposed skin beneath her ear as he whispered sweet nothings to the baby while rubbing a warm palm across her tummy. Lily giggled happily, enjoying the attention she was receiving from her husband after a rather long day alone. James sunk on his knees and trailed feathery kisses across her tummy and stood up again, finally pulling Lily in for a close hug when -

"Ouch!"

James released his hold on her immediately, drawing his hands back to his side as though she were red hot coals.

"Erm, Lily?" He asked slowly as he watched her draw her hands across her chest, wincing delicately as she did so. Her cheeks flushed pink and she didn't quite meet him in the eye, choosing to focus on the pristine flooring instead. She didn't look too terrible, but her awkward expression was making James laugh.

"Is everything…alright?" He asked, biting his lip to prevent a smile from breaking out across his face.

Lily nodded a bit too eagerly.

"I see," he said softly as he took a step towards Lily and watched as she involuntarily took a step away. His smile morphed into a look of extreme concern instead.

"What happened, Lil?" he demanded as his imagination went a little crazy and he imagined living the rest of his life without being allowed to touch his wife. He shook his head a little to clear the disturbing image away.

"You know how I'm pregnant with our baby?" She began, and his eyebrow rose in response. "Really? Oh, that must be the reason you've been sitting at home, leaving me to fend for myself in the big bad war!"

Lily grinned despite herself.

"Well, you complete arse, then you should have also known that a mother's body prepares itself to feel the baby, and, well…"

She blushed a deeper scarlet as James eyed her hungrily from head to toe, whistling appreciatively as his vision dipped below her neck.

"I _knew _there was something going on with you," he yelled out loud as he winked at her and Lily burst out laughing.

"If only the good looks came with less of a price, honey. I'm aching all over! Also, no more hugging for a month or two."

"Lily, no!" James complained, frowning. Then he brightened up for a second.

Wait, it's definitely going to be lesser than a month, right?"

Lily smirked evilly. "Nope. Suffer, Potter."

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon competition, prompt #30: Hug


	5. 4: Uncontrollable

**A/N: **For the amazing Allzie (Alicia Mirza) and Shar (sharmeow), as always. Jily shippers unite! :D

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**Uncontrollable**

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James' sleep came to a rather abrupt end when he felt a constant tugging at the bottom of his pyjamas. At first, he was convinced that he was dreaming and mumbled something about vague about potato stew and a blackout. When it began to get very persistent, he opened his eyes with extremely reluctance only to look into a huge pair of green eyes.

"Aah!" He screamed, not used to waking up to find his wife staring down at him with ne arm loosely wrapped around his middle.

Lily giggled.

"Did I scare you?" Not waiting for James to answer, she rubbed her swollen tummy and pouted.

"James, I'm hungry," she declared.

That woke him up just a little.

"What can I make for you, love?" He snuggled in to her, but Lily was not in a mood.

"I'm hungry!" She whined, and his eyebrows rose.

"I heard you the first time," he assured her.

"Well, the baby is hungry, too; I speak for both of his."

His lips twitched with amusement. "Right. And what do you two expect of me?" He pressed his lips to her stomach, kissing the baby bump gently. "Hey, my little hungry baby. What would _you _like for breakfast today?"

"Baby and I have decided we want ice cream for breakfast," Lily declared. James' eyes grew round with surprise. _What happened to the health freak he had for a wife?_

"Ice cream? Lil, are you feeling quite alright?"

"If you don't account for the baby growing inside me and the hunger eating me up, yes, I'm quite fine," she snapped. "Can we please go for ice cream now?"

"You want to go over to Diagon Alley?" Her eyes sparked with happiness as she nodded like an eager little child, and James had to laugh. "Come here, you." He hugged her close, kissing every inch of her face till she was squealing and begging for him to stop.

"I'm starving!"

James scuttled off the bed before her temper soured. "I'll be ready in a minute."

It was the hundredth time he was saying that to Lily, but the first time he actually kept his word.

"Ready?" Lily nodded. And they flooed to Diagon Alley.

* * *

"Mmm, that was delicious. We should really have ice cream for breakfast more often, you know that?"

James gaped at her incredulously and wiped a bright red smear off the side of her lips. She nipped his thumb playfully and giggled.

"This was, what, your fourth scoop?"

"Seventh," she announced proudly. "There was a scoop of the triple chocolate delight, then two scoops of chocolate truffle, a scoop of mango madness, one butterscotch pecan fantasy, the coffee crumble and now the ravishing raspberry."

James shook his head with wonder.

"I just hope we have a human for a baby, instead of a snowball."

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-AThon Competition, #61 - sleep


	6. 5: Read Aloud

**Read Aloud**

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Lily spent an extraordinarily long amount of time bathing that evening. Every muscle in her body was stretched and sore and her bones were adjusting incredibly as her baby grew inside her and while she loved her baby with all her heart, she could frankly do without the constant pains in the butt. Quite literally.

"Lily, are you out yet?" James hollered from the hallway the second Lily stepped out of her bathroom on the first floor. She grinned.

"I am! And I need you in here," she responded, yelling equally loudly. Then she placed her palms on her stomach, alarmed.

"Sorry, baby!" She whispered, convinced that she was going to be responsible for driving him deaf. Lily quickly threw on her comfiest nightgown and settled into bed, stretching her legs out. Her stomach rumbled gently, reminding her of the dinner she'd cooked but not eaten.

"I bear food," James barged in just then, holding up a tray laden with piping hot spaghetti and meatballs with the sauce on the side, just as she liked it.

"I knew there's a reason I stuck by you for so long," Lily joked as she sniffed appreciatively. James scowled but placed the tray before her carefully and then proceeded to walk back to the kitchen.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" she demanded, waving the door shut with a flick of her wand before James could step out. He blinked. "To get myself dinner," he answered, and Lily smacked herself on the head. _Of course he hadn't eaten._

"I'm sorry, sorry. Get yourself a tray and get back up here soon!"

"What's the hurry?" James asked curiously. "You're alright, aren't you?"

Lily huffed impatiently. "Yes, yes. But it is story time for our little baby!"

James waited for an explanation.

"Sweetheart, our baby can hear us and is most likely trying to understand who you are and who I am," she explained patiently as she rubbed her large, sore tummy with one hand while she spooned some food into her mouth with the other.

"Well, we talk plenty, why do we need to read stories to the baby when, well, he isn't even born yet?"

"Or _she_," Lily corrected automatically. James wisely remained silent.

"Babies pick up things in-utero, James. I'm going to play our baby some music every day, and read stories out loud at bed time. Which is now," she added as she stifled a yawn.

James quickly realised that there was no arguing against his wife's logic. There never was, anyway.

"Let me get some dinner," he said, moving to open the door. "And then I can tell our baby all about how his brave daddy caught a few snoopy Death Eaters today…"

Lily threw him a look. "How about we keep the Death Eaters away from our stories?"

James smiled ruefully. "I agree. It's a little too early for that."

And he went to get dinner, his mind abuzz with the most fascinating of stories.

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #66: hot


	7. 6: Kicks

**Kicks**

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When it happened for the first time, Lily was excited beyond belief and had nearly woken her neighbours up along with her husband as she screamed for joy. The next time occurred only a week later and she spend every single day in-between wondering if the first time had been a figment of her imagination.

But then her baby kept growing and that day, he seemed a little too excited for his own good. Which meant that he would not stop kicking her, and Lily couldn't stop peeing.

She spent the whole afternoon in the loo, depressed and decided that she'd rather fight against Voldemort's psychotic minions rather than watch her body malfunction due to a baby she loved so much, but who seemed so determined to wreak havoc.

"Oh, sweety," she moaned, clutching her enormous stomach tightly and grimacing as she felt another little kick by the side of her stomach.

"What is it? Are you hungry? Thirsty, perhaps? Well, it's your fault I'm peeing all the time." She felt another kick aimed right at her bladder and nearly wept.

"Do you miss your daddy?" She asked sadly, missing her husband more than anything else. She'd donate the entire contents of her Gringotts vault if she could have James to herself just then.

_Crack_

"Hey, love."

Lily was just getting out of the bathroom and weep she did at the sight of her husband and their best friend. Their identical smiles dipped into identical frowns as they took in her weary, sweaty condition and James picked her up, kissing her full on the lips as he did so.

Sirius whooped in the background, and James took no notice – he'd gotten used to it after the first two years.

"Hey, Sirius," Lily called out as James carried her to their bed.

"Lils, I'm glad you haven't lost your voice or anything," he responded cheerily, trying hard not to let his worry show in his voice. He smiled as she saw her head bob up and down vigorously in response.

"Please tell me what happened?" James pleaded, sounding like he'd turned forty within seconds. Lily winced.

"Our darling child in here," she pointed to her large stomach, "wouldn't stop kicking me. That is what happened."

Sirius looked at her in astonishment. "You look like someone rolled a hippogriff over you, Lils! All this just because of a baby's little kicks?" His jaw dropped.

Lily turned her attention away from her husband and glared at him angrily, her eyes glowing like lamps in the room as the sun set.

"You, Sirius Black, better be grateful that you're to be this baby's godfather. Neither of you have any idea how hard it is to carry a baby around and worry for you two all at once; I'm bloody exhausted!"

She pulled James on to the bed with her and cuddled up to his side as he massaged her aching shoulders.

Sirius grinned.

"I'm going to be your baby's godfather?"

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Romance-Athon Competition, #79 - day


	8. 7: Insomnia

**Insomnia**

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James wasn't surprised to feel his wife persistently tapping the spot between his shoulder blades for the fourth morning in a row and turned around very carefully, afraid of hurting his fragile and extremely big wife.

"Good morning, baby. Can't sleep again?" She wanted to melt right into the little pools of concern that his eyes had become; she settled for shaking her head mournfully instead.

"No. I'm tired all the time, so falling asleep isn't a problem; the second I turn around, though, which happens rather often…I wake up with pain," she ended, rather forlorn.

James sighed massively. He was quite getting used the idea of Lily becoming his human alarm clock – what worried him was the fact that he was being awoken at increasingly earlier hours, which led him to question how much sleep his weary wife was really getting.

"Okay, here's what we're doing today," James said between yawns, and Lily looked at him eagerly. Her emerald eyes were highlighted by the dark circles that hugged her eyes and her hollowed cheeks played a stark contrast to her otherwise plump body.

He caressed her cheek with his palm as he spoke. "I won't head out today – Order duties can wait, and I'll send an owl to Frank and Alice asking them to take charge for the day. Do you want Marlene and Sirius to come over, or would you rather spend the day with me alone?"

Lily didn't even need to think twice before responding; she knew how limited her movements were and wanted nothing more than to spend the say curled up beside her husband.

"I love Sirius and Marly with all my heart, but I'd much rather have just the two of us for now simply because I'm exhausted," she explained.

James nodded. Of course; she had an almost full grown baby inside of her, for Merlin's sake!

"Give me a few minutes, will you?"

As a sudden wave of sleep waved over Lily, she nodded. "Take your time, baby." James placed a soft kiss on her forehead and tucked her in. "I won't keep you waiting too long," he promised.

When James entered the room half an hour later, complete with Lily's favourite breakfast, an enormous tub of ice cream, three books for them to read aloud to their baby and a few movies, he found her fast asleep, curled up on her side with his night shirt clutched tightly in one hand.

He smiled sweetly as he took in the scene before her, very grateful that she'd finally gotten some sleep. He had hardly taken a few steps towards the door, when a sleepy voice called out to him.

"James, where are you? I'm hungry!"

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #84 - alarm


	9. 8: Tremble

**A/N: **As always, to my superb Shar and amazing Allzie (see what I did there) :P I love you guys for so many reasons and am ever glad to FFN for having brought me to you! Much love.

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**Tremble**

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Lily wasn't prepared for when the contractions suddenly hit, sending tremors across her stomach as her body slowly prepared to have the baby. Unconsciously, she held herself in; she'd even taken to rambling to her baby and pleading with him to stay in, just stay in till the time is right.

Her days now began and ended with the Daily Prophet and as the news turned darker by the day, her reluctance to have the baby grew and Lily had begun to despise herself for choosing to have a child when she full well knew that her world may just end the next day.

"On what stupid fantasy did I choose to act on?" she constantly berated herself, wearing the floors of her house thin as she restlessly prowled about the entire day. James got home each day just a little bit longer than he had the day before, a sure sign of their growing struggle and it killed Lily to know that her baby would be welcome by a war-torn land.

Another slight contraction shook her out of her reverie and she gripped herself, feeling a little unsteady.

The fireplace came to life just then and Lily was very relieved to have her husband walk in, looking ten years older than the way he looked when she kissed him goodbye in the morning.

"Do I want to know?" she asked glumly.

James shook his head firmly as he dusted his coat off and hugged her softly.

"I love you, you know that right?" he whispered with eyes that no longer shone with their usual mischief and Lily felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes, splashing about as they threatened to spill and she closed her eyes fiercely.

"I love you, too," she said shakily, holding him close. "Do you think our baby will survive this, James?" she asked, touching her forehead to his as she held her pregnant stomach tight.

"That's what we're fighting for, aren't we?" he replied grimly.

She nodded.

"And what about us, James? Will we be able to grow up with our baby and grow old together?"

He broke their touch then, taking a few steps away from her and turning around because he couldn't bear to look into her eyes.

"I sure hope so, Lil."

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #38 - sudden


	10. 9: Almost There

**Almost There**

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"James, I feel worse than a balloon in a balloon."

Her husband looked up at her from the kitchen, where he was preparing dinner and grinned with amusement.

"Darling, it's almost time for you to have the baby anyway. Just stay a little patient, love, and you'll stop feeling like balloons pretty soon." He laughed at himself, oblivious to the angry scowls she was throwing him and continued adding the finishing touches to his salad. Lily's pregnancy had turned her vegetarian and he was surprised to find himself actually liking the Greek salad and spinach-mushroom pie he had prepared for them that night.

"James!" Lily shrieked all of a sudden, and the plate he had been cleaning off slipped from his hand and met the floor with deafening volume. He quickly jumped out of the way as it split into smithereens and rushed to his wife's side.

Lily was sitting upright on the sofa, clutching her stomach tight s little beads of sweat traced silvery lines of fatigue down the side of her pale face. It didn't take James too long to put the pieces together.

"Accio tumbler!" He called out and caught the glass that came flying to him. "_Aguamenti!"_

He quickly fed his breathless wife the water as he rubbed her back in even circles.

"We need to get to Mungo's _right now," _Lily gasped between sips. James nodded, trying desperately to hide his panic beneath layers of responsibility.

"We can't floo there and we most certainly can't apparate," James said quickly, counting the options off on his fingers. It was common knowledge that an expectant mother couldn't apparate – she was under the huge risk of splinching herself and losing her baby. Travelling by the floo network was comparatively safer but still an absolute no for mothers so close to having their babies.

"There's no way we could get a taxicab at this hour," Lily moaned. "_I need to get the the bloody hospital right away!" _she yelled as her body rocked with mighty contractions.

"Our baby is just as impatient as you are," James said, kissing his wife on the nose as a plan formed in his mind.

"Lily, what do you think about flying to Mungo's?"

Her face blanched and her eyes nearly fell out of her skull at his proposition.

"What if I fall the second I have another contraction?" Her uterus squeezed and tugged in agreement, and Lily winced.

"I'll place safely enchantments on you, love; there's no way you'll be able to move from the broom once you're on it. Our home is luckily not too far from the hospital, and you _know_ how fast I can fly." His eyes gleamed with a sort of mad delight and Lily looked at him, aghast.

But then the baby shifted in her again, urging his mommy to have him soon and Lily nearly sobbed.

"Okay," she cried with exhaustion. "You better get me there in one piece!"

* * *

Entered in:

The Het-Tastic Drabble-Athon Competition, prompt #36 - patient


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